Monday, June 28, 2010

A Clear Channel - Day 127

God must have something really good in store for me right about now. This has been a year of purging. I haven't had so much "newness" in a long time. Old things are falling away and all things are becoming new. Does this mean I have finally grown up? Every time I turn around these days there's some new thing in my life. Today, it's a new mobile phone. Now that may not sound like a big deal, but I'm a baby boomer. I never even used my old phone to its fullest capacity and I've had it for years. Now I have a phone that does even more stuff and the things I know how to do are done differently. I've also got a new land line, new financial institutions, a new way of looking at my my finances, a new relationship and a new mom. What does it all mean? I have no idea, but one day I will look back and say, "Oh...that's what that was all about."
I celebrated 6 years of serenity in my program yesterday morning and I shared about what's going on with my mother and asked for support. I got several phone numbers and chatted with a few people at lunch who have been where I am now. I'm building my team cause I know I can't do this alone. I don't think anyone can possibly know exactly how this will all turn out, but at least I know what the first couple of steps need to be. Everyone tells me it won't be easy (and I believe them) but they have faith in me because they know me to be a strong woman (I believe that too). It's time for me to stand on the shoulders of those who have gone before me. I can't even pretend to know what I'm up against. I know my mother and there's nothing easy about her. I get my strength from her and I'll need it more than ever but I don't want to use it to struggle with her, I want to use it to advocate for her. I want her to know that I have her best interest at heart and that the outcome of this situation needs to be a win for everyone.

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