Thursday, July 15, 2010

A Clear Channel - Day 139

Like I posted on facebook today, caregiving is no joke. I'm tired, I'm hot and I want to go home. I'm here in New York to take care of my mother and she is resisting me all the way. I really want to believe those caregiving books that tell me no matter how I feel, she feels worse. "Handle the situation with humor, patience and compassion." How do you do that in 100 degree weather with no air conditioner and the person you're trying to help won't open a window? My mother feels that she can be alone, that she doesn't need help, but she doesn't want me to go home. She tells me that she will pay for air plane tickets back and forth from LA to NY but she won't pay for home care. She says she doesn't want anyone in her home, but she doesn't want me to go out. I'm really trying to understand but this is tearing me apart and I'm just getting started. Not to mention how hard it is to watch someone you love go through inexplicable life changes. Am I being too dramatic? How do you know the difference between normal aging or something greater? Maybe I'm the one trying to control the outcome, but I just can't walk away from someone who needs help. HELP!

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