A Clear Channel - Day 50

What a glorious day! I worked on a TV show called FlashForward and had the honor to work with an award winning Japanese actress named Yuko Takeuchi. She was a joy to watch. I've worked on set with sign language interpreters many times, but this was my first time working with a Japanese translator. Yuko doesn't speak a lot of English but acting, like music, is universal. The emotion is there even if you can't understand the words. It was musical to hear several Japanese women conversing in their native tongue and fun to hear my name the way they pronounce it..."Cal-rease".
Also fun to work with director, John Polson from Australia. He has a very gentle way of working with actors and knows how to get what he wants and needs for the scene. He said we were going to have fun at the very beginning of the day and he was right. My call time was 11AM and I wrapped after 9PM. May get some overtime....YAY! I felt confident at the end of the day. Now, gotta get my info for an audition in the morning, then get ready for The L.A. Women's Theatre Festival tomorrow night.
That's a wrap!

A Clear Channel - Day 49

Wow, I now have 11 known followers!! Hope ya'll are enjoying the ride.
Spent the day getting my hair ready for work tomorrow. Can't go on set all nappy and fuzzy! Washed it, twisted it, braided it and will let it air dry til the morning and then unbraid it. Long hair, long story...don't have time to get into it now. Need to be in bed and studying my lines.
Went to rehearsal for my solo show excerpt on Thurs. I thought I would just rehearse by myself but I asked my director to come and he did. In just two seconds he knew exactly what to do to make it work under less than perfect circumstances. He's amazing, kind, generous, funny and oh so talented. Now, no matter what happens, I'm prepared. It's sort of low budget guerrilla theatre and I must remember to cooperate and not be a diva. I'm so used to everything being taken care of like tomorrow....all I have to do is show up on set and know my lines. Trailer, hair, make-up, wardrobe, etc. all handled by other people. I could use a little pampering right about now. Always grateful to be working.
The buzz is getting louder on The Back Up Plan. Got two text messages that I was spotted in yet another trailer tonight. My manager even send me a pic of myself on his TV to my cell phone. I love that man! He told me to go to bed over an hour ago!
Goodnight.

A Clear Channel - Day 48

It's clear to me that this new food plan is not going to work. Every day for one week I've called a perfect stranger at 6AM so that she could tell me what or what not to eat and at what time. What? I must have been temporary insane. It seemed like a good idea at the time but this week, as I plan for major auditions, a TV shoot on Wednesday and performance on Thurs. it isn't so appealing anymore. I'm an artist and I stay up late. I'm grown and I do what I want. There's got to be a better way. Now that I have all these great food tips, it's time to add some movement. I think I'd like to get a dog. A cute little hypo-allergenic puppy. I know it's a lot of responsibility, but it could be good for me on so many levels. There, I've put it out into the universe. Let's see what comes back.
This morning I had an audition for a major role in a Corbin Bernsen film. He's producer, writer, director and star of the film. He even read the audition sides with me. The casting director usually does that. I complimented him on the script and that turned into a long chat before I even auditioned. It felt OK, I always feel like I could do better even when I know I nailed it. No matter what I am grateful to be in the company of Rolonda Watts and Charlayne Woodard for this role. Parking on the Paramount lot and walking to the casting office, I basked in the warmth of Hollywood. I love my work.
Then I went to rehearse a bit for my solo show before driving to the Disney lot for my wardrobe fitting. Somewhere in between my friend Andrea called and said she had an extra ticket for.....wait for it....the Black Eyed Peas!!!! Whaaat?!?!?! I was supposed to go to Leimert Park and do an excerpt of the excerpt of my solo show and I played hooky!! Can't pass up the BEP's. And what a pleasant surprise....Ludacris was the middle act! There's something about him I like...smart businessman and I've heard a really nice guy. The Staples Center was packed....such a diverse crowd...lots of kids, women...not a lot of Black people. Interesting mix. I can't help but wonder, at what point in my career would I ever be able to draw a crowd that size? Guess I'll have to start with a vision..."If you build it, they will come".

A Clear Channel - Day 47

Went to see my friend Lydia Nicole in the Los Angeles Women's Theatre Festival. She was awesome!! Saw three solo excerpts and came home to prepare for mine on Thurs. at Plummer Park. Gotta step up my game! I spent the afternoon editing my script down to 20 minutes. Even though it's an excerpt, I want it to have a beginning, middle and an end with a through line. I cut out some of the sub themes and it's now about how uncomfortable my Mom is with all the diversity at my birthday party. I think it will work. Then tomorrow night, I'm going to do an excerpt of the excerpt in Leimert Park.
This is going to be a busy week. Rehearsals, wardrobe fittings, shooting FlashForward on Wed., solo show performance on Thurs. And that's just the stuff I know about! Blessings, it's all good and I'm grateful to be able to do what I love each and every day of my life.

A Clear Channel - Day 46

If you've just tuned in to this blog, as the title states, I am on a journey of clarity this year. I'm staying laser focused on my goals and I'm eliminating any blocks or distractions keeping me from them. So......today I had a "reading" by a sista that helps people heighten their own intuition and inner guidance. I was referred to her by my lil sis, Evita. I know to some of you glorious followers, this may sound a little woo, woo but keep in mind I live in California. We're into stuff like that out here. I don't practice any particular religion, but I'm well aware that I am a spiritual being and I am connected to my Source, My Higher Power which I call God. There is good in all religions and more similarities that some people care to acknowledge. All in all, I felt good about what I discovered today. I will not go into details due to its personal nature, but I will say there was some confirmation as well as motives I need to examine about certain aspects of my life. Lots of aha moments, as they say. Our "guide" was extremely generous with her time but at one point I could look at her and see she was exhausted. I knew then it was time to go. I look forward to working with her again. In the meantime she gave me a lot to work with and I enthusiastically look forward watching my life unfold. What's next?

A Clear Channel - Day 45

Saw Emmett Till at The Fountain Theatre tonight. Excellent production, the acting was superb. It was a packed house and has been extended several times. This production was brought to The Fountain by Ben Bradley who had started directing it at the time of his brutal murder on Jan. 1 of this year. As a matter of fact, the actors where waiting for him to show up at rehearsal that day, only to find out later than he had been stabbed to death in his home. While watching the play this evening, I couldn't help but to think of the irony...Ben wanted the story of Emmett Till's life and murder to be heard but before he could see it through he was murdered himself. I miss Ben's presence at the Fountain, he would be outside directing traffic in the parking lot and often giving the curtain speech. I was happy to see large photos of him all over as well as tributes in the program. I got to know Ben when he directed me as alternate for Aunt Ester in August Wilson's Gem Of The Ocean at the end of 2008. Tonight's blog is dedicated to Bennett Bradley. "You knew this story had to be told and I say Thank You."

A Clear Channel - Day 44

Just as I predicted, I booked a job that works the day I'm supposed to tech for the LA Women's Theatre Festival. The wardrobe fitting is Monday, the same day as an audition for a very meaty film role. It's all good. I can handle it and I'm so grateful. I'm also grateful to have my taxes completed for 2008 today (don't ask). Getting a little sumpin' sumpin' back and that's always nice. Now, can I get 2009 done by April 15th? It could happen and then I won't have to worry about it til next year. Don't know how the tax thing got out of hand, but my mission is to get it back on track along with my finances in general. Even though I'm getting money back and have the most amazing tax preparer in the world, I still had a headache when I left her house and had to find a quiet place to clear my head. It just so happens that on my way to a screening, I ended up in a neighborhood where I had heard there was a labrynth. For those of you who don't know, a labyrinth is a NOT a maze but a walking meditation where you follow a very special path within a circle. It leads to a center area where you can pray, dance, unload your burdens, whatever you need to do. Then you follow the path back out. It is the exact pattern of a famous labyrinth in France. I found the one in Los Angeles at this beautiful tranquil facility on W. Adams Blvd. and when I looked in the center I saw there was a star. I knew I was in the right place at the right time. I have a thing about stars...the shape, the stars in the sky, etc. I collect them. I walked the labyrinth and when I reached the middle I felt such relief I just started to cry. I prayed and turned my worries over to God. It felt good.
Then I went on to the screening hosted by the Organization of Black Screenwriters. I was on such a natural high, first thing I did was share my labyrinth experience with about 4 people. I was invited to the screening by an amazing young woman, Evita Castine, who was in Bill Duke's Bootcamp with me last year. From the first day of class, I knew she was someone special. By the end of the summer I had adopted her as my little sister. She was one of the hardest working actors in the class as well as a writer and filmmaker. She's an avid tweeter and up on all the latest technology. If you don't watch out she will film you or snap your picture in a minute! She's alway packing (a camera). I enjoyed all of the films for different reasons. Most were about serious topics, but Evita's lightened up the whole night. It was the shortest film and packed quite a punch. The ending had us laughing so hard and so loud we missed the last line. The moment was not lost..job well done.
I'm going on facebook right now to make all of these filmmakers my friends!

A Clear Channel - Day 43

Whew! Let me breathe for a second. My audition streak has ended for a minute. I must have had about 11 auditions in 8 days! That may have been my longest run of auditions in my entire career. Commercials, films, TV shows, callbacks. OK, so my ears are burning...a bunch of folks are considering me for something right now...who's it gonna be?....what's my next project?...git wit me! Tomorrow I get my income tax done...that will definitely put a smile on my face AND I could get one of those last minute auditions. Let's see what happens. When I had less auditions, my booking ratio was higher. Weird.
Short and sweet tonight. Gotta watch The Office before I go to sleep. Gonna call that lady at 6AM. Geez! Didn't have a perfect food day but they tell me...Progress not perfection.

A Clear Channel - Day 42

I went to an very interesting meeting tonight.  It was recommended by my food mentor (sponsor) so I thought it was going to be all about food. Imagine my surprise first of all that there were probably over 100 people there and as we went around the room to introduce ourselves just about every 12 step fellowship was represented: Alcoholics, Al Anon, Debtors, Food Addicts and Sex & Love Addictions and more.  I'd never seen anything like it.  Tonight was the last of a 13 month workshop so there was food (I couldn't eat) and sharing about how what individuals got out of the workshop.  What I heard was transformation, amazing, recovery. It's hard to describe, it was more of a feeling, an experience.  I tend to shut down when I hear glowing, flowery testimonies or when I feel like I'm being sold a bill of goods. That can get a little cultish.  But I didn't feel that tonight.  The was lightness, sincerity and humor.  My sponsor is going through the workshop again and she said I can use it as one of the three meetings I need to attend each week.  Okay.....here we go!

A Clear Channel - Day 41

It's been said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.
So I am in the process of flipping the script on my relationship with food.  I've already started and Lord it's amazing how many things have become clear to me.  It feels like food had become my best friend and we are now breaking up.  There's a sense of sadness about all this.  Because I have a very specific way of eating right now, I notice that I habitually reached for food when I was upset, angry, bored as well as to celebrate, hang out with friends etc.  I actually accepted invitations based on whether or not there would be food there.  I've even gone out with people because they were buying me dinner.  Now that's insane.
My whole schedule has changed.  I now start my day at 6AM. Whaaat??? That means I can't stay up all night long anymore.  Yikes.  I feel so much more creative at night and seem to get more done, but because there's no more late night snacking, I will probably want to go to bed earlier.
I'm such a free spirit, I'm really out of my comfort zone with all this structure and discipline but that's the only way I know to get the results I want.  There's another saying that goes something like this:  When you see someone who has the success that you want, you have to be willing to do what they've done to get it. That's what I have done.  I now have two mentors, one in the area of food and one in the area of my finances. I listen to their stories and I do what they tell me to do.
If you want to be successful, hang out and learn from successful people.

A Clear Channel - Day 40

Well, so much for a relaxing Sunday.  I started off heading toward Westwood (to see a play) which is just a few miles from my home and noticed that there was a ton of traffic headed toward me and beyond, like EVERYBODY was going to the beach.  I knew the LA Marathon's finish line was there and then I also realized that all those people who ran, walked, rode, or crawled those 26 miles from Dodger Stadium had to get back somehow.  Maybe they all had  people coming to pick them up.  At first I thought it was a good idea for it to be a beach run, but it must have been chaotic over there.  Traffic was a mess.  At least in years prior the route was a loop through the city so everyone ended up back where they started. I rode it on my bike in the rain in 1995.  Today, for me the marathon cut right through the path I needed to drive to get to the Geffen Theatre.  My friend Lydia made it from the valley in record time and I told her I would be right there because at the time I was going against the traffic.  Once I found out I couldn't drive north, the only choice I had was to join the cavalcade headed west so that I could get on the freeway.  The theatre said they would hold the curtain because they were getting calls from other audience members who were also stuck out there somewhere.  Once Lydia sent me a text to say the play was starting, I still tried to make it but had a little meltdown and just went home.  But not before buying my scale so that I can start my new food plan tomorrow.
I was happy to be home so I could relax and started working on my income tax but we all know how taxing that can be.  So....so much for a relaxing Sunday.

A Clear Channel - Day 39

Looong day today.  Started off at a screening of Alice In Wonderland at the Directors Guild.  Didn't think the movie was spectacular even though I like Johnny Depp and Tim Burton's work.  I enjoyed the 3D effects most of all. Helena Bonham Carter stole the movie in my opinion. The girl that played Alice was quite good also.
Then went to a fundraiser at Baja Fresh Hollywood but not before witnessing a huge gusher on LaBrea and Sunset right outside the old Charlie Chaplin stages. It looked like there had been a car accident and one car was right at the base of all this water shooting out of the ground. I don't know how the passengers got out of the car safely.  There were police and fire trucks all around and people had their phones and cameras out.  There were even people sitting in the middle of the streets.  They must have been tourists.
The fundraiser was well attended and a nice fellowship.
Then I drove down to Long Beach for Laugh-A-Latte.  Lord, that audience made us work tonight.  As a comic, you just never know what to expect.  Sometimes you can ride the wave of the energy in the room especially when to audience is ready to play and other times it feels like you've got to drag them kicking and screaming into laughter. Then again, as a comic/host I tend to feel responsible for setting the tone.  So who really knows? It's a two way street.  Give and take.
I saw yet another friend who has shed a massive amount of weight.  I am so inspired by all these people lately who for one reason or another has decided they want to live a long, healthy life. So I'm going to buy that scale tomorrow and start my new food plan on Monday.  It will require some major changes in my life.  I realized this evening how many invitations I have accepted because food was involved.  It will be interesting to see how that changes (if it changes) and how my budget will be affected by my new way of eating.
I checked out the L A Marathon route because I was thinking of riding my bike in it next year, but I see they have a new route from Dodger Stadium to the ocean with no bikers.  Oh well, I'll just start riding my bike on my own since I live right near the ocean anyway.  I just hope I can get to the Geffen for Daniel Beatty's show tomorrow.  By car.

A Clear Channel - Day 38

I couldn't start my new food plan today because I don't have a digital scale to weigh my food.  Great.  Just what I need...a reason to continue to eating badly.  I did OK for the early part of the day, but later after being a bit stressed out by a last minute audition, I pigged out on unhealthy snacks instead of a decent meal.  At least I'm aware of when I eat badly and I'm starting to see a pattern about why.  Being stressed out, having too much to do, not having time to cook, not slowing down long enough to cook causes me to buy junk.  I also notice that I eat in the car, the same way I used to smoke in the car. That's kinda tacky. There seems to be a link.  Hmmmm.
I've have 6 auditions in 5 days with a couple of callbacks thrown in the mix.  I'm getting closer to booking something.  It's inevitable.  I actually had a moment of joyful wonder as I thought, "What's my next job gonna be?", cause there will be a next job. In the meantime, I must remember to gratefully enjoy the journey.

A Clear Channel - Day 37

I almost went to bed without blogging tonight because of a headache I've had all day but it's become such a habit I just couldn't do it.  I took an Advil, rested for a moment and the headache is gone.
I see now that my blog has 9 followers!! I know there's some lurkers out there as well.  My neighbor left me a voice message saying she enjoyed my entry about celebrating her birthday at the Dim Sum restaurant.
Had a couple of great phone conversations today. Positive discussions about "the business" and moving my business forward.  I don't know if I mentioned it here, Saturday March 13th was my 25th anniversary.  I moved to Los Angeles from New York 25 years ago!!  Wow.  After all that time and making a name for myself in show business, I feel that I qualify to help others pursue their dreams. I've been noticing lately that many people have been asking my advice about a any number of issues regarding their show business careers.  Creative types of all ages, backgrounds and levels of experience.  First of all, that tells me that they respect my opinion but more importantly not once did I feel that I didn't have a viable answer or that I couldn't help them.  So soon I will be taking that idea to the next level. 
Went to another food meeting today and my relationship with food is about to change tremendously.  As of 5:45 tomorrow morning.  First thing I have to do is weigh myself.  (I guarantee you will not see the numbers posted here so don't even bother to look.) I already have a food plan for tomorrow and then I take it a day at a time.  I have a feeling there will be instructions that I will not want to follow, but if I want results I know what I have to do. Let's start with my favorite prayer.   God, Grant me the serenity....

A Clear Channel - Day 36

Spent most of the day promoting and marketing Laugh-A-Latte my comedy show at Hot Java in Long Beach.  Every third Saturday of the month.  In preparation, I do an ezine (electronic magazine), share it on social networking sites, confirm the comics and create a show run-down.  It's an all day affair and then some.  So I'm blogging a little early tonight cause I think I need to go to bed.  My brain is tired.  Got two more auditions tomorrow and I'm supposed to be meeting with the director of my solo show but that may not happen.  He's not feeling well and I'm not feeling it.
Found the cutest thing at the grocery store today. You must know by now I love blogging about food.  McCormick (the spice people) have a package of  6 pre-measured spices and on the back, there's a recipe.  They tell you exactly what to buy to go with the spices, you follow the recipe and viola, you have dinner.  Tonight I had Rosemary Roasted Chicken with Potatoes. (I added a little side salad).  One pan in the oven lined with aluminum foil.  Nothing to clean up.  Genius.  Absolutely Brilliant! There was a coupon inside for 2 more.  They are called McCormick Recipe Inspirations.  I might actually use this coupon for a change. There are some areas of my life where I have no problem following specific instructions.  Food seems to be one of them. Even though I enjoy cooking, on really busy days who has time to think about all that.  Take the guess work out, let's eat!

'Laugh-A-Latte'

'Laugh-A-Latte'

A Clear Channel - Day 35

The dry spell may have come to an end, but without the particulars I cannot divulge any information just yet.  Had a great audition today for a couple of young guys who were as excited about The BackUp Plan as I am.
Had fun at The Apple Store learning more about my mac.  Getting some great ideas on how to promote my solo show.  After that, went to a little pre-St. Patty's Day dinner at my friend's home (her daughter was home on spring break from NYU film school).  Always inspiring to talk shop with other artists.  Watched a short by Vin Diesel that got him noticed by Steven Spielberg at Sundance a while back. Lots to think about.
Short and sweet tonight.  Got an audition at 9:30AM and need to take a look at the script. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

A Clear Channel - Day 34

Another audition today.  Haven't heard anything yet.  As in sales, they say every no moves you closer to a yes.  I expect to get every job, but that's just not feasible.  It does seem like I should have booked something by now.  I'm really trying very hard not to fall into a place of lack.  I want to stay in gratitude and appreciation, but it's difficult sometimes.  I appreciate all the auditions I have, especially when I talk to actor friends who are not getting out at all.  I have a friend who posted on facebook last week that he just did his first TV spot in two years.  I am grateful that I don't know what that feels like.  I am also grateful to have an awesome manager who I know works his butt off for me and believes in me with all his heart and soul.  So why do I feel like I'm letting him down if I don't book every job.  That's just silly.  Nobody does that.  It doesn't even make sense to try to figure it all out.  This is not a business of logic.  I was talking to my Mom today and told her that my schedule was too free to book right now.  I have a "when it rains it pours" kind of career.  So just when I have more on my plate than I can handle, I will book 2 or 3 jobs and somehow be able to juggle them all.  Guess I better use this down time to rest up.  Although, it's not like I have nothing to do.  I am busy every minute of the day and before I know it, it's time to go to bed and I still have things to do. 
I am also grateful to have a feature film coming out soon.  The Back-Up Plan starring Jennifer Lopez.  I have some friends who have seen it, liked it and said good things about my performance.  I always love having something fun to look forward to. 
Got a great family photo from my friend Roni today.  She's a teacher and mother of 3 boys (but from this picture they look like men now).  Where does the time go?  That picture made my day and reminds me of how precious life is.  I'm going to give Roni a call tomorrow on my way to yet another audition.

A Clear Channel - Day 33

Celebrated my friend and neighbor's 55 birthday today with dim sum and friends.  I always thought dim sum was a particular kind of Chinese food like egg rolls or dumplings but it is actually any small serving of a variety of things.  The waitresses rolls a cart over to your table, describes what's on it and you decide what you'd like to eat.  Then they place it on a lazy susan (everything seemed to be in 3 or 4's) and off you spin.  Everyone at the table gets a little taste.  There were 6 of us, all women and we did quite well.  We did not overeat.  Gail, the birthday girl, bought a cake so we avoided those strange little desserts on the dessert cart.  I met some fun new facebook friends (although we all looked familiar to one another) and we promised to keep in touch.
Later this evening, opened another friend's comedy show at the Spitfire Grill in Santa Monica.  Andrea Meyerson has quite a following so I was not surprised that the place was packed. I had a fun set and all of the comics were great.  I met some new acts for my room down in Long Beach and some more new facebook friends.  OK, so the word out on the street is that I need a fan page.  More on that later.  After I visit facebookland, I need to prepare for my audition tomorrow.

A Clear Channel - Day 32

I spent the day in the "theatre" but not on stage.  I was an invited guest in Steven Fales Solo Show Workshop this afternoon.  Wasn't able to attend the AM portion about creating a solo show but was there for the afternoon about producing.  I've already written and had a run of my show so I felt I wouldn't miss much.  The first thing we talked about in the afternoon was a subtitle for our shows.  Hmmmm? Do I already have a subtitle?  I discovered...not really.  The purpose of the subtitle is to further describe what your show is all about and to hook the audience/make them want to come see it.  I will be exploring that I come up with mine.  I love my title FIFTY! It Doesn't Look This Good On Everybody but it could use a little sumpin' sumpin' since it's really not all about turning FIFTY!  It's so much more than that. I do love the blurb I came up with in Adilah's class so it's always a work in progress. There were lots of little gems to think about from the workshop.
I left there to go to SAG for the reading of Christina Harley's play The Dreamers.  Oooooo, those actors cut up tonight!  It was a full house and the play is quite good. I am so proud of her.  It was nice to reconnect with my tribe members.  It has been almost a year since I've seem some of them. Let me explain "The Tribe".  We were all members of Bill Duke's Actors Bootcamp last year and one of the books he had us read was Seth Godin's Tribes, so we became Mr. Duke's "Tribe".  It's so nice to see many of the Tribe members working for Mr. Duke now and we continue to support each other in our careers. Emails are constantly being received with requests about everything from  "a work out buddy" to "cinematographer". We've created a nice family for ourselves.  It feels good.

A Clear Channel - Day 31

It's Friday, but it feels like Saturday.  Hope that doesn't throw my weekend off, I've got too many things to do!  Today I went to a rehearsal at SAG for a reading of a play written by one my tribe (Bill Duke's Bootcamp) members, Christina Harley.  It is staged by Mr. Duke himself and stars Christina, Glynn Turman, Loretta Devine and Art Evans. Those fools are crazy!  It was so much fun to be in the same room with them to watch the magic happen. I'm going to be helping Christina out tomorrow by being a greeter for the investors/producers that will be attending.  The rehearsal and reading will be in the Screen Actors Guild Actors Center where I have a chair with my name on it.  I made a substantial donation last year for that chair and it feels good to visit it every now and then.
I'm not eating like I should be.  I'm procrastinating.  I know once I make that call, it's all over...I'm either gonna do this or punk out.  Maybe I'll go to a few more meetings first.  I'm so resistant to "sponsorship".  I gotta get my mind right.  Again, I keep forgetting to consult God about these important issues. 
In a post a couple of days ago, I paraphrased an intuit named Caroline Sutherland and today I see that she left a comment for me.  How did she know she was in my post?  Now I'm really impressed.  Is she that intuitive?  Wow. I just recently found out about this woman and listened to her teleconference last Monday for the first time.  We don't even know each other.  If she ever comes to the LA area, I definitely want a reading from her.

A Clear Channel - Day 30

One month of blogging.  I've determined that this is my new hobby.  I can't actually say I have any hobbies, all I do is work. And look for work.  Every time someone mentioned something about a hobby, I was reminded that I didn't really have one. It's weird though since I've been known to be a very private person and for 30 days I've been sharing intimate details of my life with perfect strangers.  Anyone could be reading this blog and believe me, when people start coming up to me and feeling like they know me or quoting things that I've said, I will probably cop an attitude.  So be prepared or shut up!  There.  Don't say I didn't warn you. 
I want to talk about food some more.  The same way I'm obsessing about it in my blogs, is the same way I obsess over it in my daily life.  It could be that I just don't have a normal relationship with food.  I obsess, I binge, I crave certain types of food all the time, its just out of control. I went to another one of those food meetings today and I know that my answers are there, but now I'm procrastinating.  I'm not quite ready to get started.  I'm thinking about all the things I want to eat BEFORE I commit to this program.  Yikes!  Is this crazy or what? And I know it works.  I've done it before. 
I remember when I was trying to quit smoking, I asked God to remove the obsession to smoke.  And He did.  There's my answer.  See, I'm still trying to go it alone.  Like I'm so powerful over this....Not.

A Clear Channel - Day 29

Let's talk about food.  I've been doing a lot of research, exploring, investigating on what I need to change about my eating habits in order to lose weight.

• The vegetarians say don't eat meat.
• The vegans say don't eat meat or any diary products.
• The raw foodists say don't eat meat, sugar, flour, caffeine, diary, oil, soda or anything cooked.
• The doctor says don't eat salt, fat,  fried foods, or red meat.
• The blood type guy says I can't eat chicken, avocado, tomotoes or ketchup.
• The muslims say don't eat pork.
• Caroline Sutherland says don't even eat fruit.
• Weight Watchers says don't eat more that a certain number of points.
• Spark People says don't eat more than a certain number calories.

So what can I eat?      Air.
This is ridiculous and not going to work for me.  I've heard it said if you concentrate on lack, you attract lack.  So I need to concentrate on what I can eat.  Seriously.  I went to a "food meeting" last night and was reminded of what has worked for me in the past.  As the groups members shared how many pounds they lost in ___ number of months, I knew I was in the right place.  If I just do what they did, I could achieve the same results. It will require a commitment on my part, and discipline.  I will have to be accountable to someone and be willing to do what they tell me to do.  I've shared in my blog before how I need to learn to ask for help and here's a perfect example.  I don't have to do this alone.  It's obvious that I can't.  I'll just have to get over myself and not let my rebellious nature take over. It's such a weird contradiction.  I know I can't go at it alone yet I resist having someone help me.  Huh????  You know what they say...Doing the same thing, the same way over and over again yet expecting different results is the definition of insanity.  God, grant me the serenity.....

A Clear Channel - Day 28

Here it is the second week of March and I realized I haven't booked my first TV or film job for this year yet. I usually have that covered before the end of the year prior. I've been auditioning, getting callbacks but no bookings....yet. That's why I stay busy and I'm grateful to be able to share my gifts in other venues. I've been doing my stand-up, hosting, writing (blogging) and producing so I never actually feel like I'm sitting around waiting for the phone to ring. I've noticed a pattern since 2003. I've never said it out loud and even though I'm not superstitious, I just don't want to give it any power but here goes. It seems that I work the most and make the most money in years that end in an odd number. Isn't that weird? And at the beginning of the even numbered years, people are constantly saying, "This is going to be your year. I can just feel it. I just know it." Really? And who told you that? It's twenty-ten. An even numbered year. A new decade. By blogging about this let's dispel the myth and keep it pushin'. Every year is a good year and every year will be better than the last. The best is yet to come. I'm not liking this roller coaster ride. I know that's how show business can be but I'm changing that paradigm for myself. Also, astrologically speaking (I'm a goat) and we tend to climb, chill out on a plateau, climb some more, chill on a higher plateau, climb, repeat, climb, repeat until we reach the top. OK. So I chill on the even and climb on the odd. Hmmm...maybe chill time is not so bad. Now, if I could only relax. Om----------

A Clear Channel - Day 27

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit and I must say there is some truth to that. I now find that I cannot go to bed without blogging. So does that make me a blog addict? Do I have to go to one of those meetings? Hi, my name is Carlease and I'm a blogger.
So, short and sweet tonight. Stayed close to home, ran some errands, got stuff done around the house. Pretty boring, huh? I'm just trying to stay on top of things. As I have stated before, my paper clutter had gotten out of hand and my mission is to dig myself out. It's gonna take some time, but I'm making progress. Working on my income tax helps because I'm going through stuff to find money! As an artist and independent contractor, I itemize and receipts are valuable!! Bank statements, all those workshops I'm always taking, check stubs, commissions checks etc. all spell TAX REFUND!!! So what am I doing still blogging? I'm going back to look for some mo' money!! Goodnight!

A Clear Channel - Day 26

Well the Oscars are over for this year and the stars are probably still celebrating. I started not to watch but I had a feeling I would feel like I missed something if I didn't. I'm glad I tuned in. Lots of new stuff this year. Couldn't stop thinking about when I was a stand-on for Whoopi years ago. I had good behind the scenes look at what goes on and I certainly had several rehearsals presenting and accepting the award. Even got to hold Oscar and see what he feels like. Heavy. So I'm ready for MY Oscar!! Guess I better get some awesome film roles first huh? Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin were hysterical. Great writing and delivery. I'm sure Bruce Vilanch had a lot to do with that but I don't think he is the only writer on the show. I liked the opening: Neil Patrick Harris' song, and the nominees walking out on stage. I thought it was a nice touch to have those awesome dancers dance the nominated songs instead of 5 sometimes boring performances (I not talking about the year when It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp for Best Song!). Also enjoyed the live and personal tributes given to the Best Actor/Actress nominees. Speaking of Best Actress, didn't think that Gabby S. (can't spell her name) would win, but who cares after that glowing tribute from Oprah. Even she was wearing a blue gown. I love that all the Precious women wore the same color. They looked beautiful and what a show of solidarity. I can't remember if Mariah was wearing blue or not and I didn't see Robin Thicke's wife Paula at all.
Well congratulations Mo'nique. We all knew that was coming, but after watching the final Barbara Walter's post Oscar special, did I really need to know that Mo'nique doesn't shave her legs? Also found out that she and her husband have an open marriage. Hmmmm....interesting. And she was abused by her brother from age 7 to 15. All of that and she didn't cry!
All in all I was happy to see so many brown faces up front this year. The youngsters/first-timers, Gabby and the brothas from The Blind Side and Hurt Locker, Oscar winner for Best Adaptation (?) for Precious, Tyler Perry, Sapphire to my man Morgan Freeman...shoot, I almost started crying. Well gotta go work on my acceptance speech...."I would like to thank God and The Academy......"

A Clear Channel - Day 25

Just got back from MCC Los Angeles where Mormon Boy (Steven Fales) did his second cabaret show in two nights. Tonight I had the privilege to be a part of it. I filled in for Leslie Jordan who had another commitment. The show was off da chain!! The energy in that church was electrifying. We had amazing musicians, singers and comics and of course our headliner, the sexiest Mormon I know, Steven. That boy can sang!! He's a gifted songwriter and so clever. I'm so grateful to Gabriella Francis for bringing us together. Steven is to new to the LA area after traveling around the world with his solo show, Confessions of a Mormon Boy (and it is quite a story) and living in New York. I don't think he needs my help but if there is anything I could ever do for him and his career I would do it in a heartbeat. I just started my new business called Stage Mom where I coach and consult actors, comics and solo artists. I could take Steven on as a client. What am I saying? As talented as he is, he should be coaching me.
I met some great people at the show tonight, performers and audience members alike.
So what's next for me? Getting ready to do a part of my solo show in WeHo April 1st. Gotta meet with my director, tech rehearsals, publicity, etc. Gonna be a busy week. Right now I'm about to chillax. I will be watching to Oscars tomorrow. I have a feeling Mo'nique is going to take a little gold man home with her.

A Clear Channel - Day 24

Very productive day getting all my materials ready for The Los Angeles Women's Theatre Festival show on April 1 in WeHo. No drama here (except for on the stage).
Went to see Steven Fales aka "Mormom Boy" in concert at MCC Los Angeles in preparation for my performance with him tomorrow night. Great show and I'm excited about writing a tailor made act for the MCC audience.
What's heavy on my mind at the moment comes out of two conversations I had yesterday. One with my friend Harold who is setting up a meeting for me with a very good friend of his who manages some heavy hitters in the music industry. This came out of me telling him about The Dublin Adventure. He thinks maybe his friend can help me, possibly manage me or point in the right direction so I don't have to go through a situation like that again. It's tough on talent to have to handle everything and be brilliant on stage. The other [facebook] conversation was with my friend Candace who jokingly said, "Don't make me have to call Junebug on that producer guy." (I paraphrase). Both of my friends have a point. I do need a Junebug. Someone to take care of everything and everyone from messy producers to stalker-like groupies who distract me before and after....and sometimes even during my performances. If I had a Junebug, I could just say, "handle that for me please". So...I'm putting it out there...I'm looking for my Junebug either in the form of a personal assistant or a manager/producer for my solo show. Someone who really knows what they are doing. A self-starter, take no prisoners kind of person. (Sounds like a classified ad doesn't it?) "Junebug" needs to be fearless and able to take care of me as far as business is concerned. I'm low maintenance but high performance. And I have to be able to call them.....Junebug.

A Clear Channel - Day 23

Whew! I'm beginning to think clearly again. That little Dublin Adventure had me eating comfort food and we all know comfort foods are not raw! Not that I've been eating all raw, but I have been incorporating more raw foods into my diet lately. As a matter of fact, I am now following a raw food sista here on Blogger. Saw another friend on facebook this evening who has lost 35 lbs. and she looks fabulous!!! I feel a mission coming on.
So, today's email from the Shamrock smoking Leprechaun producer in Dublin was short and (sweet?). After accusing me of not sending in my travel plans and apparently finding out that I had, it sounds like I still have an open invitation to come and do his festival. What? He said why would I want to waste the ticket, it's up to me whether I want to come or not. Now you know I cancelled that flight two days ago. I didn't even know how to answer. It was so nice not to have to read a bunch of negative comments today, I just didn't want to stir the pot again. See, that's how I get fooled...because I want people to be nice but he has already proved to me that he's not. So what do I care if he's nasty again? I'll tell him I cancelled the flight and let the chips fall where they may. I just want him to go away. I've got to focus on my work here. Getting ready to do an excerpt from my solo show in West Hollywood on April 1st. Plummer Park. 8PM. Tickets $10. I'll be posting it on facebook. Come check it out.

A Clear Channel - Day 22

Another accusatory email from Mr. Dublin Producer today. Gee, I'm not surprised. More BS, blah, blah, blah....whatever. I don't know what kind of shamrocks he's smoking over there in Dublin, but that little leprechaun better back off. I am not to be messed with and he is getting on my last nerve. I refuse to be intimidated by some email thug. From now on, if he wants to communicate with me he needs to pick up the phone or talk to me to my face. I got Skype. That's how you handle business. That's how we roll in Hollywood. It has become very clear to me that I am dealing with a person who is operating far below the standards of professionalism to which I have become accustomed. I am so glad I found this out now before I got to Dublin because you know it would only get worse. Once in Ireland what would be my choices? Dorothy could either click her heels and home to go home or end up in jail.
Thank you for your support. You know who you are: Mr. Mystery Man who is in Vegas this week; my graphic artist for her beautiful email; and all those who have listened to and read about (as Wesla calls it) "The Dublin Adventure".
I want to say stay tuned, but honestly I hope this chapter is finished. This is my life we're talking about so you know another adventure is waiting right around the corner!

A Clear Channel - Day 21

Well, I did receive an email from Mr. Dublin Producer today and just as I anticipated, he wasn't happy. But not because there was such a breakdown in communication than I no longer wanted to work with him, nooooo. He's unhappy because apparently I'm the only performer in the whole festival that needed clarification on the word "artwork". He seems to be annoyed that I ask questions and he denies any inconsistencies. As a matter of fact, he has challenged me to list each and every "discrepancy" I have observed. In his words, "I defy you to point out any discrepancies." He wants me to "prove my statements" and then says that I am fully aware that he cannot fill my spot. Geez. Where is the love? The deadline was just two days ago and if artists didn't have all their materials in they would be out of the festival. Soooooo? I know for a fact he has a waiting list and was going to notify people on March 1 in case someone dropped out (or whatever). That seems to be standard procedure for most festivals.
As a producer myself, this is so baffling to me. Why wouldn't he want to make sure his artists had everything they needed to ensure a pleasant working situation and enthusiasm to be a part of his project? I would never treat any of my comics they way he is treating me. If I'm so "incompetent" as he has implied, I don't even know why he wants to work with me at this point. He invited me to participate in the festival but his behaviour is so hostile. Maybe it's a need more than a want. Hmmmmm....? This is beyond confusing. I just want it to be over. I told him I don't intend to go back and forth about this and I will not be corresponding with him anymore. I wish I could say I'm not even going to read his emails (I know there will be more) but that's not going to happen. Besides, I need to know what this guy is up to. I don't trust him.
So, if this is how I feel now.....need I say more?

A Clear Channel - Day 20

Lord, what a day! Woke up this morning with the intention of taking care of all my business for Dublin. There was a list of things that the producers needed and the deadline was yesterday. I had been asking questions over the past several weeks (I have emails to prove it) about specifics so that I would give them exactly what they requested in a timely manner. Or so I thought. I couldn't figure out why my questions didn't seem to be getting answered. I would ask a question, get an answer but still not know what I was supposed to do. The producer kept saying the information was in my contract but it wasn't matching the information he was giving me in his emails. And some questions he didn't even bother to answer so of course I would ask them again. Finally, today I had had enough so I decided to call Dublin (the number they had on their website) and got a voice mail message (of course) which wasn't accepting any new outside messages. What? It referred me to another website that I had no knowledge of, so of course I had to check it out. It was for a festival similar in name, sponsored by a well known alcohol company, with the exact same festival dates and performer's information that was also on the other website. Let me add, my show information was nowhere to be found on either site. I emailed the producer. Again. And he told me to ignore that other website and just do what he told to me do. Well what the ---- was that? At that moment, I heard the voice. It said, "You don't have to do this". I checked in with my posse (real people not voices) and they agreed. So I sent an email withdrawing my show from the festival. Dublin is nine hours ahead of LA, so Mr. Producer will receive my email in the morning. And then I get to wake up to his response. I've got two auditions tomorrow so I'll check my email later...much later in the day. I'm disappointed but I know in my heart it was the right thing to do. If you are confused after reading all of this imagine how I must feel. What would you have done?